sier96: (summerspuffy)
My Brother and his wife got their first baby today. My newest nephew is called Benjamin, and he is SO cute <3
sier96: (summerspuffy)
Hey, you all :) It's spring, which is sort of nice, although I don't enjoy the waking of the bugs at all... Or all the dust in the air. But still not complaining.
Saara wanted a spring/summer hat thingy, and this is what I made. Also, she now has pink hair :D

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She also wanted thin socks, and I found a fairly difficult pattern. They look a bit funky, because she pulled them over the jeggings, but you get the general idea anyway, I think.

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And as a nice ending, this is a gingerbread tree Saara made. Doesn't look Christmassy at all, when you use these colours. I love it, and I wish I could eat it, but it's a price for a raffle...

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sier96: (home)
Here's a pic of the gingerbread tree finished, meaning that it's standing upright. Saara also made a gingerbread house, which was really cute and very tasty too...

tree

house
sier96: (mmm)
Saara is on a gingerbread baking spree. She made a HUGE amount of the dough, and these are the first ones to be ready. I'd say they look both pretty and yummy. The bad thing is, she won't let us eat them yet... An evil, evil child :D

Gingerbread
sier96: (butterfly)
We were visiting my sister and her family (met my brother and my parents too) last weekend. I woke up in a very irritated mood on Saturday and with a horrible headache. Then the others decided to make a few hour trip to Naantali, which is a little under hour's drive from Salo, where we were. At that point I tried to say it wasn't a good idea for me to go, but they talked me into it anyway... (read: they didn't really listen to me) Putting a Buffy picture here, this is how I looked:






So, we left and stopped at IKEA to eat (they serve pretty decent food that doesn't cost much), and somehow all my frustration, anxiety, headache (yeah, still, even with pain-pills) and whiny kids, almost broke me down. I was an inch away from either screaming my lungs out or sitting on the floor crying. In Buffy pictures, about in this state:






At that moment my husband realized I really wasn't okay, and told me to take something (meds) if I had them with me. I did, and I sat down and downed three Diazepams with juice. They helped me through IKEA :) (There was a bright point with that visit. I found curtains for our living room REALLY cheap. The fabric cost 0,95 euros/meter, which is like... nothing)
I took two more pills in Naantali, and I survived the trip without making a scene. Back at my sister's, I talked to them, and said that I understand how they think I'm mostly all right most of the time, but they should still believe when I say I'm not up to some trip or something else. My moods can change very quickly to VERY bad sometimes, and if I hadn't had my meds with me, they would've had an ugly scene at IKEA...


Otherwise I loved seeing everyone there, and my niece and nephew liked the gifts we brought them from London. Still, being at home again is extremely nice :) My own bed, my own things, peace and quiet...


I hope you all are doing well in your own lives, with your own problems. *hugs and strength to you all*


sier96: (Default)


That is my answer to the writer's block. LJ is being a B**** and won't let me put the video anywhere else than on top of the page. *grrr* If anyone knows what helps, please tell me.

That song is my favorite Beatles song at the moment, because I have fun memories with my family, connected to this song. It makes me smile and sometimes dance by myself :)

Randomness

Oct. 15th, 2010 03:24 am
sier96: (Default)

I had this need to make a post, even if I don't have anything absolutely important to say... Well, I'm doing it anyway :)
My parents were here to celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary. Thirty-eight! That's a LOT... My brother is coming here today, and my sister and her family next week, and I'm thrilled to see them all *loves*

My kids have been busy with school. A lot of tests and homework. They've been doing well, though. I'm really proud of them.
This is the school my son goes to. It's a small school, nearest one to us, and he only has seventeen kids in his class, which is excellent, because now the teacher can give more attention to every kid.



I don't have a picture of the school my daughter goes to... I did find this pic from the net though. This is the biggest sports field in our town, and the building on the bottom left corner is the school.



Hm... I've been developing a real hate for Twilight... I'm not hating anyone who likes it or try to convert them, but I really dislike the book series for many reasons. And since I'm a Buffy fan, and my view on vampires is mostly based on that (and a lot of vampire movies), I find the sparkling ones sort of insulting... Well, that's just my opinion, but I've lately talked with a couple of people about this, and my opinion is pretty strong. I apologize if this hurts someone's feelings, that isn't my intention.
Anyway...



And finally, I want to make [livejournal.com profile] obvmluver  smile, since she's had a tough week at school, so...this is a way to do it :)


sier96: (love)
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There has been many moments I will remember always, like falling in love for the first time, falling in love with the guy you know you want to marry, marrying that guy, hearing my brother could die any minute, hearing he would make it...so many.
 
But nothing really compares to the two moments that meant the most to me; hearing and seeing my daughter and son for the first time. It was after nine months of waiting, slightly fearing that something would go wrong and so on. And there they were; kind of red, still not bathed, their heads slightly funny shaped just after they were born, and so utterly beautiful :) Those two moments were like nothing else.

I'll never experience that again. I'm not too old, I'm just turning 35, but I had a sterilization done couple of years ago. My health just wasn't getting better, and with my bipolar disorder, it would've been very difficult to take care of a baby. Also, I was feeling that I didn't want to start it all over again. Our kids were old enough to be more independent, easy in a way. And then there was the fact that they would hit their teens soon, and that would bring its own troubles. So baby would've been simply too much for us. I've never regretted the decision. It was the right one to do. So no more moments like that.

There will be amazing moments in the future, I'm sure. Like seeing my grandchildren for the first time, if I'll have them. Still nothing will be as great as seeing my own kids, hearing them cry, hearing the nurses and midwifes say that everything seems to be okay. *hugs the kids yet again*

I don't have any baby pictures of Saara and Santeri in digital form, so I took pictures of pictures :) That means that the quality is poor, but you still get the idea of what they looked like when they were little.

This is Saara, about three weeks old.




And Santeri, about four weeks old.


sier96: (summer)

We live in an apartment building, so we don't have our own garden. Which is actually great, 'cause I really don't like gardening, at all. Too much dirt and weeding and raking and all... But sometimes the mood strikes, and you just have to grow something other than toenails. Well, it didn't strike me, it did however strike Saara, the mood for growing green things. So what's a mother to do? Help her of course. We bought a hanging strawberry first. That's actually very nice and easy to mend. It looks like this now, but it'll grow much, much, bigger, and they usually produce quite a lot of strawberries.



The next thing we got, was a chili. It's very small and in a pot, but it'll grow big too, and produces mild red chili peppers. It's the one on the left in the picture, and I know it's in the shadow...But it is there, I promise :)  The three boxes next to it are like little greenhouses. We sowed seeds in them, and later, when the seedlings are big enough, they will be moved to a bigger box, without the top part. First one is parsley, second one is chive, and the third one is lettuce. All three are suitable for growing in a balcony, and ours (the balcony) is a warm and sunny one. I really hope at least something grows well, it'll make Saara happy.




This is a view from our balcony, to one direction. I really like the neighborhood, there're lot of trees, a forest even, and a huge lake is right behind that building on the right.




That's it this time. If you're growing something in your balcony, or if you have a garden, tell me what are you growing there :)
sier96: (summer)

I was IM:n with [livejournal.com profile] obvmluver  yesterday, and told her how our apartment was filled with kids. It happens every year; when spring comes and turns into summer, our place is like a busy railway station, kids coming and going. Yesterday it was three of Saara's friends and two of Santeri's. They come, play Wii games, listen some music, eat and drink and make noise.

However, I prefer this. I like to know where my kids are, so I rather have their friends come over here, than S&S spend a lot of time at their friends' homes. So, I just go in our bedroom where I have a TV, my laptop, knitting tools and books, and happily listen the thumping and talking coming from the other rooms.

Why this happens on the spring and summer? I really don't know. We have their friends over in fall and winter too, but not as many and so often. Maybe it's just that kids like to move around when the weather is warm?

Now they are counting days to the summer holiday, and they deserve it after working hard at school the whole year. *hugs the kids*

I tend to listen more music in the summer, and again I have no reason, it just happens. Now it has been Stratovarius that's on top of the list. Their song "Paradise" has a message, about how we're ruining this earth with our selfish actions. I'm not a big eco-warrior, but I recycle as much as I can and use products that aren't disposable. And I love the song anyway :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpI5aAzeJUI

Music I listen changes with my moods, a lot. It can be anything from a perky pop to a sad, sad, blues or a heavy metal. What ever it is that I listen, it affects me. A friend of mine has told me how important music is in her life, and it made me think about it too. Music can move us, even motivate us. And if my summer is filled with perky music, I'll take it as a good sign. Definitely.



sier96: (loveheart)
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Fears...I´ve got a lot of them. Spiders, hights, confined spaces, airplanes, ships, passing other cars while driving, dark, making mistakes...You see? A lot of them.

But the biggest of my fears is, that I´m not a good enough mother. That I lack some major skill or thing that makes a good mom. That I can´t give my kids what they need to get trough life. That I forget to tell them how much I love them often enough, forget to tell how proud of them I am. I´m afraid I AM not enough.

Most days I can make myself believe that it´s a stupid fear, and that I am good enough, but it´s always there, in the back of my mind, the fear. I try and try and try to be everything I need to be, to erase the fear, but I don´t think it´ll ever go away. I just have to cope with it...

sier96: (Default)

Saara has taken a new habit of drawing chibi characters, and here are two of them.


This one is Saara as a chibi :) She doesn´t really have pink hair, but the crooked tooth and style of clothing and stuf like that are in place.





And the second one is made at my request :) It´s Spike! I think it´s brilliant. Just the right amount of cuteness and bad ass attitude in the same package. And there are even those oh so sweet cheekbones...





sier96: (Default)
I´ve written some small bits of what happened last summer, but I thought I should tell the whole story, since it was a really scary tale.
My brother Pekka, who is 13 years younger than me, was 20 last summer. He was working with the post office delivering the morning newspapers.
He is young, male, and of course has way too much belief in his abilities =)
So he was sleeping way too little, and everybody warned him about it. But did he listen? Of course not.

In June he had a few events that he attended, and he didn´t sleep more than three hours per day for a period of six days.
Then he went to deliver the papers one morning, and he fell asleep while driving. He crashed into a group of three trees, and went unconscious for a moment. (I have to add that his seat belt was not fastened, which is the usual way while delivering papers, sadly)
When he came to, the car was burning, and he was hurt. He still managed to call his supervisor and tell where he was, and that he had crashed. Then he went unconscious again for a while, but (and this saved his life) came to, and managed to crawl half out of the car before he went unconscious yet again.

Then the ambulance came, and they took him to the hospital. This is when we all heard that he had been in an accident. And guess how I felt, when I knew that he could die, and I was 340 km from there? It was hell. I could only wait for the phone calls, and told my mom, that they had to tell Pekka how much I love him, if I wasn´t going to see him ever again.

First they thought that there wasn´t much wrong with him apart from many broken bones. *edit: his liver was also ruptured, but it wasn´t anything demanding surgery. It was going to stop bleeding on its own after some time*  But then they discovered that his aorta had been ruptured. Not the main part, but one of the sectors. Doctors told, that they could´t operate it directly, because that would make him bleed to death. They had to try and put a patch into the vein through another vein in his groin. However, the catch was, that they didn´t have the patch.
They had to order it, and it would be the next day before it was there. So we could only hope and pray, that his vein would hold together, or he would die.

His blood pressure was alarmingly low, partly because the bleeding in the liver, and partly 'cause his other injuries. His hemoglobin was equally scary low, but he held up. They did operate, and it was a success. Then, when it was time for him to wake up from the surgery, he didn´t. Doctors did all the examinations, and could only say that his brain was swollen, and we would just have to wait and see what was to come.
This was kind of when I lost it. I could only cry and cry and pray, and nothing could make me see the light. I kept saying same things over and over again, and (my kids told me, I can´t remember) talked totally weird things.

Two days later I got the call from my dad. I knew that Pekka had either died, or woken up, because my dad only called when it was something major, otherwise it was Jenni who called. And my tears wouldn´t stop when he told that Pekka was awake, and there wasn´t anything majorly wrong with him. He was still breathing through a tube, but doctors told that he would be OK.

We went to see him two days later, and the breathing tube had just been removed, so he could talk. This is taken then.



He´s in ICU in the pic, and has all kinds of tubes going in and coming out, but he is alive, and well =) You can guess how happy we were. That´s me on the left and my sister Jenni on the right. We were in Turku central hospital.

So, he had 8 broken bones including shoulder, knee, arm, and a few ribs. But as you can see, no casts, so the fractures were pretty slight. He was out of the hospital in two weeks, and has now only scars and that patch reminding him how close he came to losing his life.

The car he was driving burned totally and so did the three trees he crashed into.
That´s how close he was. If he had lost consciousness totally after the crash, he would have been burned with the car. So I´m thanking every little stroke of good luck he had, and God, for making it so I still have my brother.

That´s the tale. It has made me enjoy living, and family, and friends much more, since it only takes a second to take it all away.




sier96: (Default)
I have finally made some progress in building Saaras confidence about her art. She agreed to put few drawings on the net, probably DeviantArt, and I said I´ll put one of them here as well. So, here is a Fox Saara drew last year.  (We´re not sure if it´s a character of some sort, since she took direction from a pic we found. )

She has a lot to learn, but I think the talent is there. So I intend to help her get better, since it´s something she wants too. It´s funny how Saara and Santeri are so totally different when it comes to talent ; Saara can draw, but not sing, she´s not so good with english, but is very good in maths and physics and such. Santeri can´t draw well, but can sing and play guitar, is brilliant in english, but not so in finnish... They don´t even look like each-other one bit. And the list goes on...
They just are..different =) As we all are. And that´s the fun.

And then I must say BIG thanks to [livejournal.com profile] framedinlove , Anni you made me an icon out of one of my favorite Spuffy-manips EVER!  *claps hands in delight*  You´re a wonderful friend, and a big help with you-know-what =) Thanks for that too.


sier96: (Default)

This is for the upcoming spring =) I know it´s early, but I ran into this photo, and was instantly transferred to last spring, and our trip to our cabin. We go there few times a year. It´s near the Koli-nationalpark, and in the pic Santeri is sitting on the top of the Koli-mound.
Lake Pielinen is still frozen, but it was a warm day. This was in April -08.

I get spirit from the sun, the nature, and my kids. This pic represents all three of them. Hope you that read this get some good spirits too =)

And finally a thing I have forgot. I have a userpic, this-one 
 
and I love it. I haven´t credited the person who did it yet, so here goes, ~iktaska at iktaska.deviantart.com/ you told me I could use your design, and I have. You are talented, and I hope you keep going.
I didn´t ask if this was meant for Spike from BtVS or Spike Spiegel, but I guess it doesn´t matter. I think it suits both. Now some sleep..

Upgrading

Feb. 17th, 2009 05:37 pm
sier96: (Default)
I got my account upgraded, mostly ´cause I wanted to get rid of ads blinking at me all the time...

I´m kind of sad otherwise, my grandma just got diagnosed with alzheimer´s, and that´s tough. It´s hard for my grandpa, who has to take care of most things at home. Grandma can still cook, and do some other household stuff, but she forgets things very easily, for example she can forget to put salt or some other things in food, or when she is going ice swimming (her hobby for 30 years), she forgets where she is going.

My mother is their only child, and she lives 340 km away, so it´s up to me and my family to keep them going. It´s a lot of work, and they even live 15 km from us, so I can´t just walk to their house, I have to take the car, and my husband needs it a lot in his work, so it takes some arranging. But I have the time, so I do what is necessary. I love them, so it´s me giving them back the love and time they have given us. But I´m sad knowing that she is slowly going to forget everything, everyone.

On the happier note, my brother is coming to us next saturday, he isn´t staying long, but it´s just so great to see him. I´ve loved him from the first second I saw him, I´m 13 years older then him, and he is just so important to me. When we almost lost him in that car accident last summer, he has been even more precious to me. I don´t know how I would´ve survived if he died in that car...But he didn´t, so lets just be happy that I get to see him again.

Now...reading Harry Potter, or watching Merlin...aa...it´s got to be HP, the book is almost finished, Bye!

Finally!

Feb. 16th, 2009 04:27 pm
sier96: (Default)

It took me ages to get my diary customized! It´s mainly because I´m such a twit with my programming...
My beautiful header is made by [livejournal.com profile] easy_to_corrupt  who kindly advised me how to make this happen. She was really patient with me, so BIG THANKS to you =)
It took LJ-workers a while before they found out what was wrong, but now my journal is finally the way I like it. And now I can change layouts and headers myself, hopefully...

We bought Santeri a guitar on valentines day, and that was a brilliant decision! He is 10, and hasn´t played guitar ever, but now he can already play some simple songs. He just totally got it right away. We are going to get  him in to some lessons, so he can learn the right way to play. I´m so glad that we found a way to develop his musical talent.

I have been totally tired for about two weeks now, and I do mean like sleeping-15-hours-aday-tired. I already know what is wrong, my blood-tests show that my thyroid isn´t fully working. It has been a problem for few years now, and I do have medication, but it has gotten worse. Maybe I just have to increase the dose. I hope it will take the tiredness away, ´cause this is just ridiculous...Just have to wait what the doctor says.

I have developed a long Spuffy story in my head, have been thinking about it for a month now, but it´s a big step for me to start writing something. I´m afraid I can´t put it in words, and that it´s totally stupid. I hope some day now I have the inspiration hit me in the head and just MAKE me write it down. We´ll see...

Also thanks to [livejournal.com profile] obvmluver  who helped me with the photobuket-thing, you know what, it worked!



My holidays

Jan. 4th, 2009 09:57 pm
sier96: (Default)
My holidays have been full of family, food,fireworks and fanfiction =) So my four F:s! First three come along with the time of year and time spent with family and friends. It´s been as good as ever, no major arguing or something bad. And I´m gratefull with that.

But the FanFiction part hasn´t been there in past years. It´s only been about six months. But now that I´m a fullblooded FF-reader, I find time to do just that when nobody needs me. I just read Spuffy, Spilliam, Spesley and LotR with a few exeptions. That´s when an interesting fic floats ahead, usually when some writer writes other parings or my LJ-friends write something. For example Orli/Viggo from Laura. But one thing I don´t ever read is Buffy/Angel. I just can´t stand that, sorry those who like it.

Now I think I spend couple of hours with my sister and brother, and then read some of my favourite fics for a bedtime story =) What can I say, I just really love some fanfic, and I´m such a big baby sometimes.

Nice

Dec. 17th, 2008 04:08 pm
sier96: (Default)
It was nice finding a Finnish "girl" here by accident. So this is for you Laura! I found her drawings on a fan art-page, and now I´m a fan. You make so beautiful art. My daughter, who is 12, looked at your work too, and likes it a lot. She is just starting to make shadings and other stuff to her art, and I can say that she really is talented, and this isn´t just the proud mother in me talking. When I get a new scanner I will put some of her work here. My daughter Saara also draws anime characters sometimes.

We are planning our holiday at our cabin now. We are going to stay there from the January 1st to the January 6th, with my sister and her family, and my brother with his new girlfriend, who I haven´t seen yet since they live 340 km from us =( sadly. But now we´ll see her (Maija is her name).

So, my sister Jenni has a husband Heikki, and they have a son Eetu 5, and a daughter Anni 2. I love them to pieces, they are really important to me. Jenni is just three years younger than me, so we have always been very close. She is my best friend and vice versa. They also live where my brother Pekka does, so we don´t see very often, but we talk often by phone or Skype.

There is a lot of planning when there is 10 people to feed for 6 days, so many phone-conferences will be held, I´m sure. But we all are thrilled to see eachother and spend some time together! So, today there is no depressing mood, and I´m pretty giddy!

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